Game 1: The Brawlers vs The Backyard Bullies
SHUT. THE. FRONT. DOOR. It’s 2015 and the season has officially begun with a double header at home on March 21st against Suburbia Roller Derby. The Brawlers have welcomed some new faces: Valley Hurl and Optimist Prime, while welcoming back others after a hiatus due to injuries and life events: D-Bomb Dailey, Ka$h and Prizes and Jacquelyn Heat. An early season injury and illness to Don’T BeA Baby and Walker, WrexUs, Danger, respectively and retirement of Cherry Poppins, Jen Hex , Merry Deathstar, Sin Ickle, A. Moral and Knuckle Baby left the Brawlers skating shorthanded for this first game.
Caln Skating Center was PACKED for the season opener and the excitement was in the air. The Brawlers came out hot, a little too hot and UltraShear-her found herself in the box on the first jam. The nerves soon relaxed and the rust from the long winter started to fall off as the Brawlers jammers began to get lead on a regular basis. The defense also stepped up their game. Rontanamo Bay and Kelly Krueger held jammers by their lonesome while D-Bomb Dailey looked as she hadn’t missed a beat and stepped in forcing a cut track allowing Shear-her a power jam on her second trip to the track. Krueger was the Fred Astair of derby showing off her new footwork skills and owned the Suburbia jammer for half the track.
Not to be outdone, the 4 wall of mErica, D-Bomb, Ka$h and Prizes and VALociraptor held the opposing jammer to no passes allowing Fear N’ Loathin’ to score 14 points. Kreuger stepped back on the track with Jacquelyn Heat, Holly WallbangHer, Valley Hurl and Rontanamo Bay to shut down any hope of the Suburbia jammer making a pass. But penalties sent off all the blockers except WallbangHer. No worries, she held the jammer to turn one on the next jam by herself. Shear-her stepped in and picked up lead, Fear N’ Loathin’ found her groove and racked up some more points and we went to half time with a score of 100-72 in favor of BRG.
As well as things went for BRG the first half it was mostly Suburbia the second. Fatigue from a short bench and penalties racking up proved to be problematic for the brawlers as Suburbia chipped away at the lead little by little. D-Bomb continued to be a force by providing epic offense for Ka$h and Prizes. Shear-her was popping in and out of walls and Drop, Pop & Lock raced the opposing jammer to force a no point call off. The packs maintained fast speeds and the defense spread out allowing Suburbia jammers to start slipping through and scoring points. Optimus Prime stepped up with Ka$h and Prizes and held Suburbia’s jammer allowing two scoring passes for Drop, Pop & Lock. Wallbangher kept giving offense allowing Jacquelyn Heat to score. But in the end the short bench, fatigue and penalties were too much. Suburbia edged out the Brawlers with a score of 168-159.
Drop, Pop & Lock and Ultra Shear-her
Backyard Bullies MVPs:
Leggy Fleming and Lash O’Ninetails
Game 2: The Belligerents vs Suburban Brawl
Nothing tastes sweeter than a rematch! After losing to Suburbia last season, the Belligerents were more than a little excited to get a second shot at taking down this formidable team. The tension and determination was thick in the air as the first jam started with both team’s jammers at a standstill. Suburbia’s Lauren Forcer was kept back by blockers Cutthroat KC, Anya Alnight, Ballerinka Barbie, and Rapid ArrhythMIA, while BRG’s own Skinny Guinea attempted to jump the apex but was sent to the box for a cut track penalty. Suburbia was able to pick up 10 points and call the jam before BRG scored anything. But have no fear BRG fans! Raggedy Aneurysm stepped up to the jammer line, ready to save the day! Suburbia’s jammer, Hollyhood, was no match for the unbreakable wall of KC, Anya, Mia, and DeckHerH8er. Rags immediately broke out of the pack as poor Hollyhood was knocked out of bounds again and again by the dream team of blockers, allowing Rags to grab 34 points without letting Suburbia get even just one! Buenos D. A$$ couldn’t just sit back and let Rags have all the fun. Buenos flew out of the pack, giving her lead jammer status and letting her call off the jam before Suburbia could gain any points. By halftime, the score was 152 BRG to 71 Suburbia.
The Belligerents came back from halftime hungry for points. Skinny Guinea started off the half by powering through the pack with seemingly no resistance. She was able to grab 4 points and call the jam just as the other jammer had broken free. Suburbia’s Lauren Forcer wasn’t going to go down without a fight. Ultra Shear-her was sent to the penalty box for cutting, allowing Lauren to race around the track for a 20 point jam for Suburbia. But Raggedy Aneurysm wouldn’t be outdone. Lauren had a 20 point jam so Rags picked up 21 points. The last jam of the game is a fast one for Buenos and Chocolate Femme & M. But in the end, Buenos is able to get the points and call the jam, ending the game at a score of 295 BRG and 115 Suburbia.
MVP jammers were BRG’s Raggedy Aneurysm and Suburbia’s Lauren Forcer.
Blocker MVPs were DeckHerH8er for BRG and Brawl Stanley for Suburbia.
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